


you are my light

by megalaragaruda



Category: Pop'n Music (Game)
Genre: Domestic, Future Fic, M/M, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 12:02:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10307045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megalaragaruda/pseuds/megalaragaruda
Summary: But he was something you’ve never known, never experienced before; you didn’t know how to handle fire at all.And you were a rippling hurricane, unstoppable in anyone’s path, even his-- something unexpected, different, a small change of pace from what he was used to.But you learned to love that fire.And he learned to love that wind.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 11.1.15 -> 3.14.17

Retsu always smells of firewood smoke.

Between the incessant ignition of his fire hand and the beautiful, rippling wings of fire that sprout from the small of his back, stretching and licking up towards the sky, to where you are, it’s a constant wonder to you.

The scent of his skin is a bit sweet, a bit strong and smoky; it warms you to your core, even just being a stride away from him. Even back then, before he knew of your feelings, that scent sent you into small fits of flustering embarrassment, not that you could help it-- and worse yet, he never quite realized to _what_ extent his presence had on you. Despite the fact that he was always so conscious of how he affected everyone else, and he was pretty smug about it. But whenever it came to you, it seemed he never had the same expectations.

(But it’s not like you were much different.)

Shy glances, hesitant touches, the way he’d scratch his reddening face in embarrassment-- both of you tried so hard to make the first move-- but he was something you’ve never known, never experienced before; you didn’t _know_ how to handle fire at all. And you were a rippling hurricane, unstoppable in anyone’s path, even his-- something unexpected, different, a small change of pace from what he was used to.

But you learned to love that fire.

And he learned to love that wind.

\---

It’s midday when Retsu is trembling with excitement, fire hand and wings almost activating, and he can’t seem to lift his foot off the gas pedal. You’re on your way to your newly bought apartment, a large building that stretches hundreds of feet into the air. It’s close to work and town, so the convenience factor is great, not to mention you’ll be living at the top floor, where there’ll be room for flying. Retsu is undoubtedly excited, and you shift your gaze at him from the passenger seat.

“Retsu. You don’t have to drive so fast; the apartment isn’t going anywhere.”

“I knowww,” he leans his chin against the wheel, hunching forwards. “But I wanna get there as soon as possible! I can’t wait any longer, Fuga.”

“I know.” You laugh softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll be there soon.”

Beni caws loudly from the backseat, and your own wings flutter too. Despite everything, you’re excited as well. To finally live with your boyfriend-- no, newly wedded husband-- after roughly seven years, you really can’t blame Retsu.

Biting back a smile, you face forwards and watch the scenery fly past.

\---

“And--oof. That should be the last of it!” Retsu exhales, wiping his forehead with a triumphant grin. You drop one more cardboard box beside him, your legs wobbling weakly. You aren’t really that cut out for heavy work like this, it seems, but the work got done in the end, even if the elevator ride was a few minutes up and down, (and you almost dropped a box down the stairs.) With a sigh, you take a seat on the floor, leaning against your knees.

“We still have to move the sofa and bed up here, too. I wonder if those will fit in the elevator…”

“Let’s take a break,” Retsu plops down next to you, throwing his head back and leaning back on his arms. “We’ve moved almost all the boxes and we’re both exhausted…”

“It’s hard work without a mover to help…” You begin to say, just as Beni flies in and circles around Retsu, cawing noisily. Retsu holds out his arm for him to land on, and he tilts his head, questioningly. They begin to engage in a conversation that you don’t really follow or understand, but you listen anyways.

“What’s up? You want a place to stay, too? What, like a bird house or somethin’? No, I’m not stupid, I know those don’t go inside, jeez--”

With a huff of laughter, you look at Retsu curiously. “Does he want a perch or something?”

“Seems like it,” he sighs. Beni flaps his wings stubbornly. “We’re high in the air, but he needs somewhere to rest. Right, Beni?”

The black crow caws in agreement. You and Retsu exchange one look, a sigh, and you stand up.

“It can’t be helped then. Let’s look for something, and find a hammer while we’re at it.”

“Oh, wasn’t the toolbox over here or somethin’…”

And after a relatively short hunt for a peg to stick into the wall, you and Retsu decide to put it to the right of the glass balcony doors, where Beni would have easy access to the outside if he wished.

“Careful, okay, don’t hit your fingers…” You offer as Retsu trains the hammer head over the wooden peg closely, deciding where to hit.

“I got this…” He squints in concentration, sticking his tongue out. You watch him for a few moments, fidgeting.

“Do you want help,”

“I can do it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Fuga.”

“Okay, okay…”

He hasn’t hit it yet. You wait, looking from the peg to Retsu’s face, and he seems to be getting nervous too now. A few moments pass.

“Okay, y’know what, I’ll hold the peg, and you can hammer it,” he says quickly, handing you the hammer, and you fumble with it for a second, startled.

“What? What if I hit your hand then, or--”

Beni begins cawing impatiently, prompting a “shut up, you dumb bird” from Retsu, and you sigh once more, steeling your nerves.

“Okay, I’m going to do it.” You say, and he looks up from swatting around with his crow.

“Huh? You sure?”

“Leave it to me…” You mumble, and with a careful hand, you hold the peg in place, hammer in hand, and prepare yourself.

The peg goes in rather uneventfully, and you sigh in relief when it’s done. Retsu whoops loudly, leaving Beni to fly onto the perch himself. Flapping his wings a couple times, he gets comfortable, then caws softly at Retsu, closing his eyes.

“Satisfied?” He grins, reaching up to brush Beni’s feathers with his fingers, and you finally smile. 

\---

After dealing with the perch, you and Retsu begin moving around the little furniture you brought. A small makeshift bed for now, (you plan on shopping for a proper one later,) a sofa that Retsu’s grandma graciously donated to you and him, a set of flowers in vases from Rinka, and some first aid materials from Hiumi. For a two room apartment, it’s rather spacious, and it doesn’t feel so bad with the sun setting in the direction of the window, filling the entire room with sunlight.

You’re organizing all the pots and pans when Retsu comes up behind you, his arms around your waist and his nose buried in your neck. Blinking, you tilt your head to look at him.

“Retsu?”

He pulls you back a bit, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “Love you, Fuga.”

You blush. “W-wha… Out of nowhere, that’s…”

“It’s true though,” he says, and you wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that you were doing something so mundane and plain like putting away silverware. You aren’t sure if Retsu pays attention to details like that, but it must be something; you can feel his warmth even like this, and it makes your chest swell.

Giving in with a smile, you turn around to face him. Retsu looks at you, his scarlet eyes glinting from the sunlight filtering in, and you breathe in, silently.

“I love you too, Retsu.”

\---

It's half past five when the clothing finally dries, and you stand on the balcony, pulling everything off the clothesline. Ironically, you never use the dryer, even though you have one. After years of washing and ironing clothes, you still somehow prefer it like this. On these days, when you are hundreds of feet in the air, the gentle press of wind against your back and the insisting heat of the setting sun on your face, it is a moment too sweet to pass by, so you stand there, a white shirt in your hands, fluttering in the wind, while you look over the horizon.

Behind a long fortress of peach-colored clouds, there's a glint that catches your eye— a flash of light and bright orange, as if small shooting stars are falling from it. You breathe in, a sudden warmth spreading throughout your chest, and within moments, that flash of light appears in front of you, swooping in and perching right on top of the balcony railing.

It's Retsu, and he has his crow on his shoulder, both of them flapping and curling their wings contentedly. You tilt your head, and not even the bangs covering your face can hide the soft smile you're wearing.

"Welcome back. I thought you were at work?" You say as you place the shirt in the basket, and Retsu yawns, stretching his wings, the flames licking up into the sky and trembling, like a flickering candle.

"I was, but then I took my crow for a walk."

"You don't take crows for a walk," you retort, standing up, and Retsu gives you this knowing grin that tells you he knows what he said, that he's glad to be home, that he's tired, that he loves you.

(Somehow, you get all of that from just that one pull of his lips.)

Beni caws impatiently, and you pull the last shirt from the clothesline.

"Alright, Retsu, you should get off the railing now, you don't want to fall, or—"

"I have _wings_ , Fuga, I’m not going to fall to my death or something." He says this with a roll of his eyes and a little grin, and you sigh.

"We’re still up several hundred feet up in the air, you know."

Retsu playfully imitates you with a nasal and incoherent string of sounds, but he listens, and hops onto the balcony floor, tucking his wings in.

"I don't think it's several. Maybe two. Or one, even."

"I was just guessing," you say, "but it doesn't change the fact that we can barely see the ground from up here."

"Which is fine with me!" Retsu shoots you a grin, his arms folded behind his head, and walks inside, his crow following. "I can burn all the shit I want up here, and my wings' sparks won't hurt anyone either."

You lift the laundry basket up from the ground and carry it inside, leaving the doors open. "That's true. And there's a lot of space to fly around in."

You cast a sideways glance to your own wings, white feathers with flecks of gray near the ones closer to your back. Your wings are much larger than Retsu's; they're meant for flying, of course, but for creating gusts as well, if you wanted to. The appendages themselves are strong, sturdy, and very powerful, but they do get in the way sometimes. You've always had them though, and nothing makes you feel more at home than gliding through the sky, wind at your sides and in your face.

_(more at home than—)_

You hear Retsu rummaging through the kitchen, mumbling to himself about his hunger and what hot snacks are there, since he apparently hasn't eaten since earlier and is dying. Beni flutters quietly, cawing once or twice, before settling on the bird perch you and Retsu hammered into the wall near the balcony door. Retsu makes a sound of excitement when he finds the fresh pastries you bought from the café with Albireo earlier, and he immediately begins eating one of the donuts.

"It's still hot! Fuga, it's like you knew exactly when I was coming home, holy shit." He calls out to you from the kitchen, his mouth completely full, and you laugh as you shake out the clothing and place it on the ironing board.

"I didn't, but I'm glad they're still warm. They're all yours."

Retsu makes a comment about how good it tastes, coupled with an excited "yesss" in response to you, and you can't help the huge smile on your face.

The whole apartment is shrouded in orange sunlight, warmth, the smell of laundry and sweet pastries, and it's home to you. This is home, here with Retsu, and when he wanders over to you as you're ironing the clothes, he leans over to peck you on the cheek, and, yes; yes—

_(nothing makes you feel more at home than when you're with him.)_

\---

You're curled up with Retsu in your bed, the bed you share, both yours and his. You've been married to him for about a year now, but you've always lived with him like this-- spent days on end during high school together, hanging out at his house and ending up sleeping over since neither of you wanted to leave. Not to mention the apartment you have now is too perfect, and you wouldn't ask for much else, anyways.

Retsu rolls over onto his side, mumbling about how sleepy he is, and you hold him in your arms. His wings have been tucked in and put away for a while now, (your bed is fireproof, just in case) and now you can just hold him, savoring the warmth and euphoria that you feel from being like this with him.

Your wings, however, are still there. You can't put them away like Retsu can with his, and they're already large enough, even when you tuck them in. There's not much else you can do to hide them and…

You sigh into Retsu's hair, maybe a bit too long-winded, and he looks up at you through his bangs.

"You okay?"

"Mm." Shifting your wings a little, you hold Retsu a bit tighter. He seems unconvinced with your noncommittal response, so he prods you again.

"You don't sound okay." He looks at you with a suspicious look in his eyes, and you avert your gaze to the wall.

"It's nothing, really..."

But Retsu reaches up and traces the side of your wings with his fingers, and you freeze up immediately.

"Hey," he says softly, and your heart thuds within your chest. It's as if he knows, as if he can tell, and your heart feels like about to explode into a million pieces from anticipation.

"Sit up for me?" he asks gently, and it's so soft but insistent that you can't help but listen. Slowly, you push yourself up into a sitting position, stretch your wings wide, feathers shimmering in the dim light, before you tuck them into your back again. You look at Retsu, the insecurity undoubtedly showing on your face, and he smiles before kissing you softly against the lips.

"Love you, Fuga."

You blink at Retsu, inches from his face, close enough to count the freckles on his nose, and a light blush spreads across your cheeks, like a wildfire. Biting your lip, you cast your eyes down.

The words almost get stuck in your throat, but you respond, "I- I love you, too... Retsu..."

Retsu lifts your face with his finger on your chin, leans in and kisses you again. You let him, as you melt seamlessly into his touch, and his fingertips run down your neck, to your shoulder, and rest upon the feathers of your wings.

It's a matter of acceptance, you think, every time Retsu holds you like this. Both from him, and to him, there is an unsaid oath of, _i trust you, please take care of me, i love you._

"Is it your wings?" Retsu asks suddenly, and you open your eyes as he shifts to the side to look at them. The way he runs his fingers across your feathers makes a tingling spark run down your spine, and you shiver, almost imperceptibly.

"Kind of..." It's a sigh; this is something you're so tired of, you don't even feel like getting sad about it. But the vague dissatisfaction remains, and not being able to put away your wings makes everything much more difficult than you'd like it to be.

"Love them," he leaves a kiss on the edge of your shoulder, and then another closer to your wings. "They make you look like an angel sometimes."

You can't stop the short laugh that leaves your throat, and you cover your mouth to hide your smile.

"That...sounded kind of lame, but thanks, I guess."

"Shut up-- I mean, that was pretty lame, okay, but--" He's sitting behind you now, pushing your collar aside and leaving tiny kisses on your neck and shoulders. "Doesn't make it any less true."

A pause. "...Hey, Fuga."

"What?"

Retsu's hands are at the hem of your cardigan and shirt, and he lifts it a little. Lips pursed, cheeks red.

"Can I..."

You nod, pressing your hands between your legs, curling in out of shyness.

"Y...yeah."

Slowly, as if you were something delicate or precious, Retsu slips the cardigan off your shoulders and tosses it to the side. You unbutton your shirt yourself, and then he takes that off as well, with your help. Your torso is bare now, with Retsu still behind you, and he stretches his legs out so that you're now sitting between them. With one hand, he tilts your head to the side and kisses you again, this time deeper. You sigh into the kiss, your eyes closed, and Retsu lets his hands run down your sides. A soft sound escapes you when he bites your bottom lip softly, and you look at him, through half-closed eyes. There's something that you can't quite pinpoint in his scarlet eyes, but they're blazing, and you can see the love, the want.

You exchange that one look before Retsu buries his face into your hair and holds you close, sighing.

"Fuga..."

"Y-you don't have to... wait or anything..." You stammer, embarrassed, and you can feel Retsu's soft laugh against your neck.

“Is that so?"

You can tell he's grinning, that he's one step away from making you his own, and he'll take as long as he pleases. You both know what's coming, but the tension is making your heart pound, and you're ready for whatever he’s planning.

"Yeah," you finally answer, and you turn to him, your eyes still casted down. "So don't... wait..."

Retsu looks at you for one moment before pulling you towards him, and this time, he kisses you hard, sucking on your bottom lip, biting, making your breath go short. A familiar heat forms in the pit of your stomach when he kisses you deeper, and you reflexively open your mouth just a little wider, to let him in. With his hand pressing against your skin, you can feel his heat already, and you shiver at his touch. He begins leaving kisses on the back of your neck, sucking marks into your shoulders and biting at the skin. It's a sweet sort of pain, and your mouth falls open, eyes closed.

"A-ah... Retsu..."

He hums against your skin, undoubtedly leaving marks, and his hands run up your chest, teasing. It never takes long for you to become reduced to such a mess when Retsu touches you like this, when he takes every part of you, wants you and loves you. It makes your breath stutter, your heart race, and hearing his breathing getting heavier as he goes on, knowing that both of you are falling apart, turning to ashes…

"Hope this'll be okay," he mumbles, and you barely get a chance to ask what he's talking about before you feel the press of his lips against your wings, right where the white and gray feathers meet skin. It's such an instant response, you barely see it coming, but that touch alone-- you had no idea your back was this _sensitive_ \-- it sends chills down your spine, heat to your stomach, and you gasp, your wings straining rapidly against your back.

"Ah--!"

"Whoa," you hear Retsu from behind you, and he laughs a little. "Did that feel good?"

"I--" You try to catch your breath, but all you can feel is his heat so close to you, and where his lips touched felt like it was burning a part of you, but it felt so good, so sweet, you want to feel it again, feel his touch more. "Retsu...--"

He kisses that same spot again, but this time he runs his tongue along the edge of skin, slowly, and you shudder, unable to hold back a soft moan with it. Retsu breathes in awe, does it again, this time circling his fingers around a nipple, and you let out a cry, your wings stretching and unfolding as the warmth of heat and pleasure spreads throughout your whole body, down to your fingertips. You're getting so hard it aches, and you want Retsu already, so much, you want all of him over you, to burn every inch of your body with his lips, his heat-- you're so ready for him, and he's not even done yet.

"So your wings are sensitive, huh... God, Fuga, you sound amazing." Retsu murmurs in a low voice against your back, and he leaves kisses on your shoulder blades, all the way up to your neck. "You're perfect."

You open your mouth to reply, but nothing comes out but a shaky breath, and you folds your wings in again, reflexively. You look over at him, through your bangs, panting lightly.

"Retsu, please..."

It must have been something in your voice, or the way you looked at him, but there's a glint in his eye that sends sparks throughout your body, and then he's pushing you down into the mattress, hands at your sides, a knee between your legs. He leans down and kisses your chest, leaving marks and imprints of his nails in your skin, marking you as his. Your hips are already moving, desperate for some sort of sensation, for friction. Retsu presses his knee harder between your legs, and when you roll your hips upwards, you lean your head back, helpless moans slipping through your lips. He leaves the scent of fire and smoke on your skin, and you can hear his breath stuttering from here, the way his lips lift just a few millimeters from your chest, as he glances up at you through his bangs, scarlet eyes glinting in the dim orange light. There's love and affection in every corner of his expression-- need, want, all of it-- it makes your insides twist and burn, and you know you won’t be able to hold out much longer.

Retsu kisses down the toned line of your stomach to your hip, then tugs your jeans down to your ankles, your boxers following. You shiver at the exposure, but you can feel his warmth; you know he's losing his control with every moment, the eternal flame that he is unable to hold back, especially at a time like this.

"Open your legs wider for me, Fuga," he says, his voice low and burning, and you comply, however shyly. Retsu reaches over to the nightstand and is already uncapping the lube by the time he's back over you, and when he presses a finger inside of you, you cling to him, panting into his shoulder. He works you open achingly slow, but he's so gentle and careful, insistent but not intrusive, that it makes you feel like crying. By the time you're ready, you're already gasping, fists twisted into sheets and your legs shaking, and through half-open eyes, you watch Retsu undo his own belt and pants, throwing them to the floor maybe a bit too eagerly. You almost want to laugh at that-- but when he leans in close, pushes into you slowly, you half-sigh, half-moan his name, and Retsu drops his head to your chest, shaking.

"Ah, fuck, Fuga... Fuga..."

And with slow thrusts, he begins to move, and you with him, your hips canting up into his. Your legs shake, fingers digging into his shoulder blades, and feeling Retsu's heat within you burns you to your core, and you can't help but cry his name on every breath, every exhale. You're so lost in him, in his rhythm, his warmth and love, every part of you he takes and holds so dearly. Even now, he's saying your name in broken whispers between groans and shaking breaths, but he never takes his eyes off you-- his crimson eyes are on you the whole time, clouded over with love, pupils wide with lust, his mouth open and forming your name. Just hearing him say your name, repeating it, telling you how good you feel, how wonderful you are, it breaks you apart more and more.

And that's what Retsu does-- just like you do for him, he accepts every part of you, understands you more than anyone else, and isn't afraid to love even the parts of you that you hate and wish to hide. He takes all of you, marks you as his, and-- you let him, you want to become his, if he'll accept every part of you like this, then you'll offer everything you have-- he paints and fills every inch of you with the light of his fire, and you can feel it, the strength of his love for you reaches you like this, without him even saying it. And foregoing any thought, you respond, gasping:

"I love you-- Retsu--"

You hear him breathe, as if he was surprised you'd say that, and then he leans down to kiss you hard against the lips, open-mouthed and desperate, whispering frantically, "I love you, I love you, Fuga, god," and at that moment, his pace picks up, a rhythm so blazing he hits that one spot instantaneously, and you cry out, your back arching off the bed, leaning your head back.

"There we go, that's good, you're so good, Fuga," he's saying against your ear; the deeper he thrusts the louder you moan, and soon you can't hold back your voice. You're so close, you're so close and you want to become Retsu's, fully, all his, burned to ashes by his fire, you wouldn't even mind at this point, as long as it meant being closer to him, being with him--

"Retsu, _Retsu_ , ahh-- I--"

"C'mon, Fuga--"

You can feel the beginnings of a gust at your fingertips where they're latched onto his shoulders, but through the rapid haze of pleasure and the straining of your wings against the bed and your legs against Retsu's back, all you can think, feel, _hear_ , is _Retsu, Retsu, Retsu_ \-- and with one final thrust, you reach your peak, with a trembling cry of Retsu's name on your lips. You so badly need to breathe but every single inhale and exhale forms the syllables of his name, and you curl into him desperately, clinging to him like a lifeline. It's as if you've been shrouded in light, with heat, and you hear Retsu swear under his breath, his hips shake, and then through half-lidded eyes, you watch him come, a shuddering moan and the sound of your name on his lips.

What you don't expect is the sparking of flames that shoot out from his back for a split second, and you blink in shock, startled. But just as quickly as they appeared, they disappear, and Retsu's breathing hard against your neck, his hips still moving as he rides it out. You shut your eyes, the pleasure still lingering, and say his name reverently, over and over, until both of you slow down, breath returning to lungs, holding each other as if there was nothing else in the world but you and him,

_(and in that moment, you could have sworn that was true.)_

\---

Your chest is still rising and falling by the time you open your eyes, and you realize that you literally cannot move any of your limbs without shaking. The tips of your fingers feel tingly, and your chest heavy because... probably because Retsu is laying there, catching his own breath.

“Fuck... Fuga..." He sighs, exhausted, and you place a hand on his back, smiling through your own exhaustion.

"Retsu..."

He lifts his head to look at you, and you share a look for two seconds before breaking into smiles and breathy laughter.

"I saw your wings pop out," you tell him, teasingly, and Retsu presses his face into your chest.

"Shut up. I felt your little wind tornadoes on my back, too."

"They weren't tornadoes--" You counter with a roll of your eyes, but then Retsu shifts upwards to press his lips against yours, and you stop short, laughing into the kiss.

"You nerd," You whisper to him, and he grins, affectionately.

"That's you. Fuga, the gay nerd, with all his hurricanes and shit--"

"Okay, that's enough." You push him off of you, (gently, gently,) with a laugh, and he rolls next to you, a smile on his face.

And he's like light, you realize dimly in the back of your mind-- Retsu is your light, and he fills you with that warmth, that exposure and safety, that uplifting and fulfilling that you need sometimes. Retsu is light, and when he turns to smile at you, his grin is the sun, and his freckles are a thousand stars.


End file.
